wish

words for a special person..

Today is my friend’s Marina birthday. And these words for her.

Happy Bday, my friend! 

I wish you a river of flowers, in which you could swim without getting tired…

I wish you have own cottage near a lake of warmth…

I wish you a sea of love and a huge yacht…

I wish you true friends around the world and the aircraft…

But most of all I wish you happiness without end and bottom…

..And I wish there won’t be shoes in the whole world that you couldn’t afford to buy! 😉

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little confession..

It’s time to get one thing off my chest: when I was a child I dreamed of becoming an actress. And I knew why, I wanted to live other lives. My childhood was wonderful; it just seemed to be much more interesting on the other side of the screen. I can’t forget it because of my love for cinema and a few wrinkles on the forehead, which I often see in the mirror. I’ll tell you how I got them. Does everyone remember the Bond? Aha! I was in love with those wrinkles on the Sean Connery’s face. So I spent much time in front of a mirror, practicing his own look.

With the look, actually, everything has turned. But I didn’t take into account many important things for the profession I dreamed about. And I know that I can’t suddenly come to love my least favorite thing, I can’t play for nothing with the feelings, I can’t confide in a stranger on demand and I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not in reality. 

But I always cry, feeling the others’ pain… I laugh when I want to… I scream when my feelings are ready to explode… I keep silent when the heart is aching…

If you know where such an actress is needed, let me know!

scribble..

Yesterday I found a note dated 05.04.12 with the following content: 

 “Today my nails are painted yellow (it’s absolutely not in my habit or style) and I put new boots, but I’m still former. Everything around me is difficult, and people seem to compete with each other, exposing their inner deformity, as though a tournament with incredibly valuable prize takes place hereabout”.

 Honestly I don’t remember what exactly happened then (my memory is a big puzzle for me), but the situation hasn’t changed much after three months…

 I really hope the better situation with human virtue develops somewhere in the world! 

best wishes or happy Bday, my friend!

Today is my friend’s Kostya birthday. I met him at a movie theater more than five years ago. We worked together. He had a day off on the first day of my evaluation period, but on the second day both of us were sent to beautify area near the movie theater. My presence was a surprise for him as for me was a big surprise the fact that I was in charge of mowing the lawn and remove dandelions by any means. After a couple of phrases he pulled out his phone and said: “so Julka, give me your phone number!”.

We’re still friends. It’s better to say that we maintain relations. I remember a character in a string, the meaning of which I haven’t managed to find out, the hijacking of kvas tank at dawn, the battle for the fantail, found in the room, mopping and dancing with a mop, hookah smoking during working hours outside the movie theater, eating hot dogs in the hall, an endless number of views of “Mission Impossible 3″…

But another memory remains to be the main. In one of my working shifts, I don’t remember how I found myself in a company of guys working with me, new guards, bartenders, ushers. We were discussing something, violently and laughing, when our administrator caught us for not working and said: 

“Oh, Julia gathered all the guys near her!”

I replied: “Well, not all, everyone can’t like me.”

and Kostya said: “Show me!”

I: “What?”

Kostya: “That alien who doesn’t like you!”

I was very surprised and I’d probably blush if my skin was prone to this. I didn’t answer anything then, but now I tell you, my friend, thank you, because it’s the best compliment I’ve ever heard.

We see each other rarely now. I don’t know how you live, what happens to you and about you. But I know exactly what I would like to wish you. Let life allow you to be who you want to be!

P.S. Create and enjoy the created things! 🙂

in summer I trust..

29 of July 2011 I was 28 and lots of work at the beginning of the month prevents me from telling about that. Now I just want to be happy and this warm season is a receptacle of hopes and simple desires for me.

About desires. If I had to minimize the amount of desire to 3, then they would be such: 1. true love; 2. a huge library of my own; 3. a happy childhood for every child.

I’m trying to draw some conclusions in today’s gloomy day and I hope they will help me to make some promises to myself.

About findings. I love literature and I believe in the word; Che Guevara is a hero of mine, and I can be proud only of number of the books I read; in most cases I make the wrong choice and I think humanity is a very painful ulcer on the body of the most beautiful of all the planets; sometimes, I dream about love and I’m learning to sleep with the open window; I am disappointed with my intuition and I lead the struggle with my doubts, fears and anxious thoughts; everything is too difficult for me and the phrase “everything will be fine” isn’t for me ..

About promises. It’s harder, I guess I’ll never be able to accept myself as I actually am. Course remains the same, because the way of development and improvement has always been right for me.

P.S. let happen what has to happen.