a wrong puzzle..

Do you ever want your life was like a good movie?!

As if you start to watch it (I mean movie) without great interest, but the beginning seems to be, don’t know, encouraging, then you find that actors are very kind and everything is evolving, let’s say, briskly enough, but later there comes a time when you notice that nothing is happening and you feel bored, but you still feel drawn to the characters in that movie and your desire to know how it ends hasn’t gone anywhere. Then former boredom goes away, as if there had been no mention of it, and you start to applaud mentally to the screenwriter and wipe away your own tears sometimes. So you are overwhelmed with happiness when the end credits come and you are almost sure that better movie has not been made yet.

Now my life is at the stage when you feel like you are a small detail from a big puzzle looking for a place to fit perfectly but… but the truth is that it’s a wrong puzzle…

Oh wait, this wasn’t in the list…

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don’t break these guys, please!..

I always wonder that inspiration, strong enough to bring me to take a pen into my hand, can come from unexpected side suddenly and lie in wait in themes I never know I want to write about.

For example, I never thought I want to write a few kind words in support of teenage boy’s band.

But let me start from the very beginning.

Sometimes I go to the food market during the lunch break and very often I meet aged lady on my way at the same place, almost at the same time. At first, I just passed by, then I began to greet her and later we started to speak briefly. That was overcast and ordinary working day. I have to admit I go to my work without pleasure. I won’t go into this matter further, I just want to make it clear that I was, let’s say, in a grey mood. In short, I had nothing to say to her and I just smiled.

She smiled and asked me: “Why do you smile?”
I said: “I smile for you!”
She smiled again and said: “Like the sun?”

My smile grew wider, and I realized that her phrase has changed my day, because an ordinary day turned to a wonderful day. And I don’t even know her name.

So, I wanted to do something good. I wanted to do something good without any reason.

It happened that after the signing of the petitions on Urgency network and Care2 websites, I came across the information that the young boy’s band “One Direction” was booed while receiving the award at VMA. I know this information is completely different in content but I was curious, because when I was a schoolgirl, I was somewhat a fan of bands like Backstreet Boys and ‘NSYNC. So I listened to a few songs and now I can say this genre of music isn’t that I prefer. But!..

But I couldn’t figure out the reason why they had to be so humiliated.

Moreover I watched a few video where the guys visit Ghana with a charity mission. Honestly, I doubt my mind could cope with such a heavy burden at their age. And though their bodies are entirely dotted with tattoos, because of this charity mission I have a hope that they have the qualities to go through thick and thin with dignity.

Guys from One Direction visit GhanaBy the way, if you feel that you became hardened or forgot when you use your own humanity, that video will be a great and useful training.

I want to repeat I haven’t found any reason to hate these individual guys. On the contrary, it seems or rather I feel like these guys radiate the warm naive goodness. In such moments I don’t want them to grow up. When we mature, we learn to hide our tears when we are sad, we have to hide our own naivety and goodness, because for adult it’s like a visiting card of a weakling in the modern world. But it is precisely due to these things we are still able to find the beauty in the grey days and we shouldn’t be ashamed of our tears, because there are enough reasons for them.

So that’s why I wrote all of this: People do not let hatred come into your soul and do not break these guys, please!

P.S. I’ve always said that I believe in the word and I think so now. I know a good word can go a long way; there should always be a place and time for it.

catch the moments..

Sometimes when I’m in the company of friends, I’m glad that I’m not a leader, because no one is waiting for action from me. So I have the opportunity just to sit quietly and to catch the moments of life, to savor them, to bathe in them…

Everything happens as if in slow motion before my eyes, the sounds disappear, I feel warmth inside and a quick look around will lead to the idea that all this is scenery, and I’m one of those who forgot to read the script.

But it does not seem to matter.

And I continue to stir the coffee in a porcelain mug, watch how dark liquid is swaying and the light of bulbs reflects in it.

In moments like this, I do not think that I’m unable to do everything in time, in such moments I’m sure that in old age I will not regret how I spent my life..

Is not this happiness to accept a small thing as a miracle?!

“evening”, cinema and a bird in a glass box..

I often tried to write that I like movies. And there was always a huge number of words that were annoying and depressing me next time I read.

Only when I watched the film “Evening”, I was able to formulate what I feel about cinema at all.

Even though, this copy of filmmaking absolutely has no shortage of the stars of the ‘first’ magnitude, and some people most likely consider, that there are too many of them, but I could say that this movie is not a masterpiece and it won’t be shown on every March 8. I’m more than assured of it as well as of the fact that not every moviegoer has seen it, and an annotation doesn’t appeal to those who are in search of an object for evening viewing.

And despite the fact that while viewing there were moments when I felt like a bird in a glass box, that is aware of the deplorable situation, but continues to beat its wings, burning the rest of the air and breaking its own heart, I think this film is beautiful. I can say more, even sadness has its own special beauty in this movie.

This work of cinematography has left its unique mark on the canvas of my soul, and now I have to look through it at the world.

A list of films that have left their trace is big enough and I’m happy that I feel what I feel.

thud..

heartOne night I was lying on my left side. I was lying in that position for a long time. I felt the pain in my ear, but I didn’t want to change that position, because I was listening to the thumping of my heart.
And suddenly I imagined it, not in the way it is shown on the lessons of anatomy, but in the way it is drawn on the cards for Valentine’s Day. And there was a box with a big hole for the key directly in the center of one of the walls inside of that heart. And that thud, I heard, came from there. As if someone was closed there. And he fought against the walls, without expectation that they give in, but in the hope that the search for the key wouldn’t stop..

good things..

simpleThis post was intended to be a summing up of  some results, but somehow it turned into a list of  things that I love:
 I love the sun.. I love the rain..
I love when snow is falling on my face..
I like to read and I like the fog..
I like to dream at night and fall asleep in silence..
I like when my dog ​​looks at me while I’m delving into a flowerbed and its tail is beating on my back..
I like to drink white wine with sushi and that bench under a chestnut tree in the nearest park..
I like unpopular grey color and to be wrapped in a warm blanket..
I like when all windows are open in summer and when my father is calling..
 
I basically like to sleep but this is not one of the popular things, I know..
I love my mother’s laugh and smile, watching my friends..
I love tears (you know, sometimes they are warm and everything is easily after them)..
I love good movies and air balloons (nothing new for whose who know me)..
I like pencils and notebooks (I’m already 29, and people say I should love other things)..
I like the frost on the branches and grandmother’s tales about my childhood..
I love tea and chocolate cakes, also coffee with cream, but only lately..
I love when my goddaughter smiles (sometimes, by mistake, she calls me mom – it’s so cute)..
I like when I’m needed, but I’m not the only one..
I like the dew on the flowers and the smell on my mother’s kitchen..
I like when the sky is reflected in the puddles and the crunch of pickles..
I like how the water runs over my skin and to hold a new book in my hands..
I like fairy tales and when a lot of kids play in the sandbox..
I like to look at the stars and how snowflakes are sparkling in the light of a lantern..
I love music and I like to dance, but if no one is watching me..
I like the greenery of the forest and to bask in the sun..
I like the fallen yellow leaves and cherry jam..
I like to pick strawberries and make tea for dad..
I like beautiful dresses and when my hair pulled back into a ponytail..
 
I like simple things and I want to begin this year with them..

summation…

memories

people say they know you and don’t understand what you are saying..
people say they understand you and take offense at your advice..

people say they never hurt you and lie in your face..

people say they care about you and you spend too much time waiting for a call..
people say they love you and hit where it really hurt..

P.S. in quest of hand to hold.